laura (2getmesomepants) wrote in missing_kisses,
laura
2getmesomepants
missing_kisses

I'm glad to see that there is a community of people who understand long-distance relationships. So many people always talk about how this type of relationship is impossible. They talk about how it will never work, that you'll want to see other people, that the distance will make it too hard. I know that this is not true. If you truly love the person, none of this matters. I could wait for a lifetime for my Jimmy. I'm glad to finally have a place where I can be sappy, seeing as how most of my friends just tell me shut up. And now, I will commence with the story of how Jimmy and I met. It's long, so you don't have to read it all...but I sure do love telling it.
Jimmy and I went to the same school from first grade until our senior year of high school. I don't specifically remember when he first entered my life, but I know that by seventh grade, I already knew him. My first specific memories of him are in band in seventh grade...we both played the flute. He quit after a year to pursue violin, which he'd already been pursuing for two years. I didn't see him much after that. I remember talking about him and how cool it was that he played the violin and the flute, but there wasn't much else. He was extremely shy, so he never said much. I remember seeing him around in 9th grade, but we never spoke. Then in 11th grade, we had AP World History together. He set across the room from me and boy, when I saw him...I knew it was love. Okay, not really....I just thought that he was extremely cute. He had longish hair and a quirky style that I found adorable. He was still extremely shy. I started trying to talk to him...I was mostly shot down. I found out later that I was just a little intimidating to him...I was rather loud and crazy in high school and he didn't think I was sincere. We had French together that year as well. I sat across the room from him and he was too busy talking with the Mexican exchange students, that I was soooo jealous of, to notice me. We did talk some, and I remember him flashing me in class at our Mardi Gras party for beads. Well, my little teenage heart just about died. I dated other boys off and on, but I always felt drawn to him somehow. In 12th grade, we had Life Drawing, French II, and AP Literature and Composition together. This is that year that we really started to bond. It's odd to think of the 3 very different relationships we had in each class. In Life Drawing, I was flirty and playful. I used to come over to his table to talk to him and see how his drawings were coming. I always made jokes and tried to seem cute and funny. In AP Lit, we almost never talked...I sat right behind him, but he had other friends in the class. French class is where we made the most connection. We would always work together, and were referred to as the "smart kids." We did both win Outstanding French Student our junior year! In that class, we were more on even ground. It's just like we were friends. Well, all is going along swimmingly...sort of. He had mentioned a college in Canada that he was wanting to go to and he told me that I should go as well. Well, I took this as a symbol of his undying love...obviously, I was delusional. Then, he hits me with the news that he is graduating a semester early and moving to Spain. I'm not actually sure when he told me this. I think I may have known at the beginning of the year...but it sounds better to make it sound more dramatic. He asked for my email address and, of course, i gave it to him. I never thought much would come of it. After he left, I didn't hear from him for a few months, so I figured he had forgotten about me. Then, I got an email. From there our relationship developed. He would always sign his emails "love jimmy" and he was so much more open in them than he had ever been in person. I took this as another sign of his devotion to me. He always seemed kind of fickle though. My heart was torn, because one minute it seemed as if he loved me and the next it seemed as if he didn't even want to be my friend. He did call me four times from Spain. I would check my email ten times a day to see if he'd written. He came home for about a month over the summer. I started bothering him pretty much as soon as he stepped off the plane. For about a week, I would call him everyday and we would go out and do things. It was very awkward, because before, we had never hung out outside of school. I was getting the vibe that he wasn't really having a good time, so I figured I would cool off and let him come to me. Well, he never did. I started college and went on with my life. I still thought about him all the time, but I occupied myself with other things...and people. I realized one day that it was getting near to the time when he told me that he had to go back to Spain. I called his house, only to find out that he had left a week before. I emailed him to find out what was up. He said that he thought I didn't care about him anymore because, get this, I hadn't called him back after the last time he called. The last time he called he was in Spain! He did say some hurtful things, but I took it and kept on. We started emailing again and our friendship seemed to blossom again. As Christmas approached, I learned that he would be coming home. He seemed so eager to see me, but it turned out that we would only have one day to spend together. I counted down the seconds until that day came. We spent all day together and I felt that we really bonded. We had the best conversation we'd ever had up until that point. I told him that I felt that he was the only person who really understood me and the only person that I felt I could really talk to. I asked him if there had been times when he had hated me, and he said that he could never not like me, that I was one of the most important people to him. Now, how could I take this as anything other than a confession of his love (it wasn't). As he pulled into my driveway to drop me off. We had a lingering goodbye. I decided to do something that I knew might scare him off forever...I kissed him on the cheek. He kissed me back on both cheeks and we hugged. I got out of the car, practically floating on air, and I ran into the house to tell my family. He started up school in January in Kansas. We emailed some more, but it wasn't what I had expected, especially considering the events of December. As spring came on, I decided that I was going to go to France with my school. I wrote him to ask if he would like to go too. He responded and said that it sounded great. I was ecstatic until I read further into the email where he told me about some girl that he had met at a party and spent the night passionately making out with. It hit me like a ton of bricks. What about all that had happened. I reread the email and then I thought "you know, it doesn't matter. We're going to get married anyway." What?! If you knew me at all then, you would know that this was not a normal thought. I hated the idea of marriage. I found it outdated and thought of monogamous relationships as merely a tool of society. I thought about it again...and I knew it to be true...I knew that I just had to wait. I wrote him an extremely long email giving him all kinds of advice and sharing my negative experiences with people at parties and relationships of that sort. I thought that I was blatantly obvious about my feelings for him (he didn't get it, but he did take my advice). I knew that I had probably scared him off again. He didn't write to me again for months. I decided to get over him, even though in the back of my mind I knew that we would one day be together...I guess that I was just being spiteful. I had a fling. Summer came and something happened. Jimmy and I started talking again, but it was different this time. This time the feelings seemed to be reciprocal. We bonded a lot. I came home nearly every weekend from college to visit him at home. We went on what we now consider dates, but at the time we didn't say this. Finally, in one email he apologized for all the things he had ever done to hurt me and admitted that I was his best friend. For him, that was practically a proposal of marriage (i told him that later and he agreed). On July 4, I came home. We had plans, but not specific ones. I waited around for him to call me. Finally, I called him in the middle of the afternoon (turns out that he had been to shy and scared to call me. He told me about other times when I had called and he had seen my number, but he had been to nervous to answer the phone). He invited me to dinner with his sister and brother-in-law (it was their anniversary and he was going out with them). We hung out before we left. I went around with him while he did farm chores...which didn't work well with my nice dress. We went out to dinner and it was delightful. We shared a dessert. I could feel the tension between us. Afterwards we were at his house, petting on of his dogs and he put his head on my shoulder. Our hands kept "accidently" brushing. He asked me to come outside and lay in the hammock with him. Of course, I did. Then it happened. He put his arm around me, then slipped his hand into mine. He kissed me on the cheek. We talked. We cleared up miscommunications of the past. That day, that wall that he had placed between himself and others completely crumbled between us. Later that night, we kissed. We spent the next few hours talking. I couldn't have been happier....and the rest is history. We've been together now for a little over nine months and they have been the happiest nine months of my life. We don't feel that any two people could be more right for each other. We're so in love. Given, there have been hard times. It's tough not getting to see him for weeks at a time, but we know that we will make it. We're planning to live in Spain for a year after we graduate, then on to graduate school together...and who knows what will come after that. We'll get married somewhere in there, but there's no date set yet. So that is the very long story of my three year struggle to get the man of my dreams. I know that it happened at the right time. We both had a lot of growing up to do before we could make it in a relationship. Now, we're in a dream world. I hope that the story was not overly boring. Thanks for listening.
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